Sunday, May 06, 2012

The Good, The Bad, and The Unexpected

Friday was definitely an emotional roller-coaster of a day that did not go at all how I planned or even dreamed of. I might not have experienced all the emotions on the image, but I came pretty close. But before I spoil the ending, let me begin by telling you what I thought was going to happen on Friday. My plans began with me going into my OBGYN to get started on the regiment needed to be able to start preparing my body to breastfeed. Following this appointment, I was going to go to the chiropractor to get an adjustment, a refill on some supplements and then come home to a happy, peaceful house and enjoy my evening. From the get-go, God had other plans for me to be able to see Him work and show others His grace and glory.

After going through my routine exam at my OB's office, he asked me what else I said to his nurse when I scheduled the appointment that we needed to talk about. I began to explain how I wanted to breastfeed the child that we adopt and told him everything I have researched about this protocol (you can read more here about the one I chose). He was very shocked to say the least and had never heard of such a thing. I explained to him that this protocol was published in medical journals starting in 2000, is in well known books such as What to Expect When You're Expecting, and also What to Expect in the First Year (both from a 2003 edition), and that the La Leche League had articles regarding it. After taking about ten seconds to look at the papers I brought in, he asked me why I wanted to do this. I explained the nutritional value of breast milk and for the bond that I thought I wouldn't be able to experience, but now found out I can. He had never heard of the regiment nor the medicine and asked if I had researched side effects and long-term effects since he was sure it would probably kill me.

It was at this point I realized he had already made up his own opinions and was not going to be a part of this. Now, I want to stop here and say that I did not intend on blogging about the details of this visit because it got really negative really fast. But my husband encouraged me to share some of the things said because it might help others to realize the uphill battle or negative thoughts that others have and how it can impact someone severely. 

The following things are a very small sample of what I was told after I stopped responding to comments/rhetorical questions while sitting in a wide-open room where everyone in the area could see and hear:

"Breastfeeding is not important"
"What about the biological mom that has trouble producing milk? Are you saying they are bad mothers because they can't do what should be natural"
"Speaking of natural, this probably isn't even breast milk because it's being caused by something unnatural"
"Mexican moms are closest to their children out of all races and most of them don't breastfeed so what does that say about the importance of breastfeeding to bonding?"
"Inducing breastmilk production is outside of God's will because it is not natural"
(This coming from the doctor that wanted me to be pumped full of hormones to get pregnant)
"The reason you hear so many good things about breastfeeding is because they stand on a soapbox and are loud. I'm so sick of it. Formula is just as good, but you just don't hear about it because they don't have the platform that the La Leche League has"

Okay, I'll stop now that you hopefully got the picture. I will say that God provided me with more grace than I have probably ever felt because I was able to sit there with a smile on my face, nod my head and respond with "I understand how you feel that way, I just disagree." I then proceeded to walk out of the office and shut the door before my tears started openly flowing. 

I could handle most everything that he said, except the living outside of God's will. I have prayed a lot about this and actually fought doing it solely because of the grief of negative opinions that I expected to receive from people, but felt so strongly that it was what would be best for our future child and family that I have submitted to God in doing this. I left the office, came home, and couldn't let it go. So I went to have lunch with Kelly and that provided me about an hour of being in the car to just pray. I love how God draws His children in so that He can spend sweet alone time with them. He's amazing like that! And I love how He wraps His arms around you and His presence is so strong you just feel at peace!

After talking with Kelly and calling my cousin (a medical student), we decided that I should just call my primary care physician. He's not holistic by nature, but I have been seeing him for 8 years now and he happened to have one opening left in the afternoon. I then went to the chiropractor (who also has mid-wives and a birthing facility). When I arrived, I picked up my supplement and then something told me to ask to speak with one of their mid-wives. When I went into the office, they were able to share with me that they had an adoptive mom that followed this exact protocol and it worked for them! I was able to speak with her over the phone and she gave such hope as she said she would be praying for me!

I left and went straight to my family care doctor. When he came in I talked with him about what I wanted to do and what happened in my OB's office he said "I am so sorry that you had to experience that." He said he had honestly never heard of this before, but then got on his iPad and started researching the protocol, the medicine and everything he could find about it. He looked at the exact ingredients and said that I should not have a problem with this at all and wrote me the prescriptions for them right then! He said he was excited to see if it worked and couldn't wait to meet future baby Carson soon!!!

I left speedily from his office to the pharmacy he recommended me using and they had everything to go ahead and fill them. This was important because if I didn't start on Sunday (today) then I would have to wait another month. When the pharmacist came out to give me the prescriptions he asked "Are you having trouble lactating or are you trying to lactate for an adoption?" Are you kidding me?!?!?! I responded excitedly "We're adopting!" He said "Oh, I'm happy you're doing this. This protocol works like a dream and I've had many successful clients use it." I was in shock! He has done this before and it works!

Let me just say that I was floating on a cloud as I walked out of the pharmacy. I prayed gratitude and thanksgiving to my Lord the entire way home and have continued ever since that moment when I think about everything that has unfolded. You see, God's hand was in this situation all along. He told me this is what I need to do, He guided me down this path and when I chose to obey I should not have been shocked when He fulfilled what He promised to begin with! Sometimes I have to apologize to God for my little faith...more than I would like to!

The restoration I experienced on Friday was such confirmation that God has a perfect plan for my life...for everyone's life....and it is our choice whether we want to follow, obey and use what He is doing to glorify Him and bring others to Him. Sometimes we have to experience the bad so we will lean more on His understanding and not on our own. It's hard to see the good during the bad but what I love more are when He shocks me with the unexpected that are far better than I would have ever imagined. 

I will leave you with an incredible Psalm to remind you of how great our God is and how He has a perfect will and plan for our lives that existed before the creation of the world! The NIV version has been made into a song that you are familiar with, but the CEV version said what my prayers have been so I thought I would use it instead. The entire chapter is worth reading, praying, meditating on and singing so here you go:

God’s Love Never Fails

Psalm 136

1 Praise the Lord! He is good.
    God’s love never fails.
Praise the God of all gods.
    God’s love never fails.
Praise the Lord of lords.
    God’s love never fails.
Only God works great miracles.
    God’s love never fails.
With wisdom he made the sky.
    God’s love never fails.
The Lord stretched the earth
over the ocean.
    God’s love never fails.
He made the bright lights
in the sky.
    God’s love never fails.
He lets the sun rule each day.
    God’s love never fails.
He lets the moon and the stars
rule each night.
    God’s love never fails.
10 God struck down the first-born
in every Egyptian family.
    God’s love never fails.
11 He rescued Israel from Egypt.
    God’s love never fails.
12 God used his great strength
and his powerful arm.
    God’s love never fails.
13 He split the Red Sea apart.
    God’s love never fails.
14 The Lord brought Israel safely
through the sea.
    God’s love never fails.
15 He destroyed the Egyptian king
and his army there.
    God’s love never fails.
16 The Lord led his people
through the desert.
    God’s love never fails.
17 Our God defeated mighty kings.
    God’s love never fails.
18 And he killed famous kings.
    God’s love never fails.
19 One of them was Sihon,
king of the Amorites.
    God’s love never fails.
20 Another was King Og of Bashan.
    God’s love never fails.
21 God took away their land.
    God’s love never fails.
22 He gave their land to Israel,
the people who serve him.
    God’s love never fails.
23 God saw the trouble we were in.
    God’s love never fails.
24 He rescued us from our enemies.
    God’s love never fails.
25 He gives food to all who live.
    God’s love never fails.
26 Praise God in heaven!
    God’s love never fails.

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