Last year I wrote a piece about the Facets of Mother's Day.
It seems like that day was a decade ago. So much has happened this past year that as I sat and read the post this year I was brought to tears about how God has worked, remolding my heart into something different, something better.
Motherhood is such a work in progress.
I don't feel like I'll ever have it down.
The process of becoming a mom was HARD.
Full of heartache and sorrow, sweet and sad tears.
Being a mom to four adopted sons that all came to me through loss is even harder.
Trying to parent a 23 year old that I only see a handful of times (if that) a month. Still trying to bond and attach with our six and seven year olds that have only known us for 8 months while showing them what a parent/child relationship in a forever family looks like. Parenting a three year old that is embracing his terrifically terrible three's while he is about to lose his status as baby of the family when our first biological child enters in less than four months.
This time last year I never thought in my wildest dreams that our family would look like this. But here we are, embracing the future with open arms.
As this weekend approaches and I try to figure out how to celebrate Mother's Day with my boys, it overwhelms me so much. We need to spend time with grandmothers and their great grandmother. I want some time with them all to myself. Most importantly, however, I want to spend some reflection time with them on what Mother's Day is about.
The four sons we have right now all have birth mothers that either made a decision for us to parent them or the decision was not their own as they lost their children. I do not want them to lose that part of them as they age and grow with our family. I know all of their birth mothers by name and this weekend we will recognize all of them. We will talk about the love they had for them, the goodness in their hearts, and we will share stories.
This Mother's Day is just partly my day.
My heart grows with each child, just like their heart grew when they accepted me as their mom. There is room for both of us and there always will be. I cannot wait to hear stories and share stories this weekend. So much love to go around, even if some of it is through tears.
Happy Mother's Celebration Day to all the mom's out there.
Whether you are longing to be a mom, waiting for the birth of your first child, grieving the child you have lost, are parenting children you don't know how long they will be with you before they possibly return to family, parenting children that have other parents they mourn, or have a compilation of them all.
You are cherished and you are loved.
You are remembered and celebrated.