Monday, July 02, 2012

Meeting our Birth Mom :)

As we drove down to meet our birth mom, the mix of emotions we felt were very conflicting. Should we be excited or guarded? Happy or reserved? What is best to do for her emotions...and to protect ourselves? What are some conversations starters just in case we have some times of silence? What are some things we want to know about her? Are there questions we shouldn't ask? What things do we share about ourselves and what things do we not?

And as we kept driving, the more I felt out of control of this whole meeting. And I think that God was letting my mind wander so it could come straight back to Him knowing of course that I am out of control because He is in control! When we finally got to the restaurant to meet her I actually felt calm! Crazy right? :)

We got there early and when she walked in the door she had this great big smile on her face and she was so beautiful! She walked over and gave me a huge hug and I felt so relaxed after that! We sat down and talked with her and the caseworker for about 10 minutes, then went to get food. Over the next hour and a half we talked about anything and everything. We learned about her hobbies and interests and she was super glad that Kelly loves basketball because it's her favorite sport to play and watch! She hates the Miami Heat (high five!), but loves the Lakers (bummer)...haha! She was super excited to talk about how this baby would have an older brother that could teach them to play soccer and have fun with them. She asked lots of questions about what our families do when we hang out, what our hobbies are, and got a feel as to how this baby would grow up. She kept asking if we were ready and how excited we were. I could tell that the more we got excited, the happier she if it gave her confidence that she was making the right decision for this child in the long run. 

She shared with us her hopes and joys for this child, and why she is making an adoption plan. We learned what her goals and dreams are. She shared her heart with us and ours with her. Toward the end, she was getting a little emotional, and it was hitting me too. I handed her a little package that I put together, a cute basket with bath salts, bubble bath, a scrubber, and fun relaxing things she could use. She wanted to keep it and never use it as a memento! The caseworker took a picture and texted it to her instead so she would always remember this moment. 

On a side note, I don't believe in fortune cookies, but as Kelly opened his it said:
"Happy news is on it's way to you!"
It just left us all with a nice closing smile to the lunch!

Before we left I asked if she had a sonogram and she said yes! She pulled out her phone and showed us our future child and I almost lost it! Seeing a picture of that big head and little body rocked me to the core. This is real! This really is happening!

As we stood up to leave I realized we had been there for almost 2 hours and it seemed like 15 minutes. She asked if we could come back down and spend time with her/go to doctors appointments, but we have to wait for an okay from our agency before saying yes to that.

As of right now, the baby's birth father still has not signed papers and therefore, the baby would have to go into transitional care for 32 days after birth. Many things could happen to add a bump to this road, but we have put our trust in the Lord and know that He is in full control of His plans for our lives!

As we pulled out of the parking lot, I felt so at peace and connected with our birth mom! We will find out soon if we will be able to be there for the birth or not, as the birth mom really wants us there. I just don't know if I could see my child be born, then give them to someone else to watch them for 30 days while I go back home. That takes strength I've never accessed!

As for the next few weeks, we will continue plugging away and getting things ready for baby Carson as this process becomes more real every day! Join us in praying for strength, peace, encouragement, and opportunities to proclaim His glory in all of this!

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