Friday, November 29, 2013

The Day Before

One year ago today I received a phone call that a birth mom had picked us. Ten hours later I found out she went into early labor and we needed to book a flight because our son was going to be born soon. The next morning he came into this world and I was holding his hand after lunch!

Let me rewind 1 day prior to all of that excitement.
I was sitting across from my dear friend in her play room telling her what I was praying for. My prayers lately had been extraordinarily deep, almost unending, as if I was constantly talking to the Lord. I felt His presence so close to me and it was such a sweet time that I will never forget. It is hard to explain, but I felt like He was sitting next to me and we just talked. I opened my heart, and His Spirit responded. Almost as if we didn't need words to communicate. I was utterly dependent on Him and I knew my heart was aligned with His!

I had always struggled to understand the will of God. I mean, how do we know if we are following His will or walking in His will? It was such a foreign concept and such an abstract thought. We make decisions all of the time, every single day, and they might or might not be what the Lord wanted us to do. But how do we know?

"I desire to do Your will, O my God; Your law is within my heart." 
Psalm 40:8

"Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may Your good Spirit lead me on level ground."
Psalm 143:10

On that day, however, I learned exactly what that meant. You see, as I sat and waited, talked with, and prayed to the Lord, I felt so deeply that He was telling me "yes!" Everything I was praying, He was encouraging me, speaking to me, and helping me understand His goodness and will. 

So I shared with my friend the following:
I have been praying and the Lord has told me He is going to give me a baby before Christmas. It is going to be a boy like I have asked for, and it is going to be sudden. Also, it will not be close to our home so that we will have some extra bonding time just the 3 of us before anyone else meets him.

Yes, those were my prayers, my outcries, my desires.
As crazy as it seems, I had reasons for all of them and I was going to pray BIG prayers because what did I have to lose? I knew God could do it and He already knew my desires, why not ask for them?

"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4

And as I sat there, letting the Spirit do the talking for me, I felt a "yes child, yes." 

Only in that moment did I understand "I desire to do Your will" and "Teach me to do Your will". Only when I was walking that closely with the Lord did I understand how my will and His will can be one in the same.

So I shared what the Lord was telling me. I shared with a handful of people, and all thought I was setting myself up for potential disappointment, but were excited with me the same. Of course, all of these people were praying with and for me. And the Lord knew. I'm sure He was smiling because only He knew what was about to happen.

When I received the phone call that our son was on the way, tears of excitement, joy and praise were streaming down my face. You see, when the Lord answers every single prayer down to the smallest detail, He and only He receives the praise! Only He could grant this, orchestrate this, and pull this off in a manner where all of the glory would be given to Him.

It was through this experience that I realized my God is one who can move mountains. He can grant miracles. He, and only He, can answer prayers. Nothing is outside of His control. He is just sitting there waiting for you to ask. Waiting to sit and talk. Waiting for you to come to Him humbly and say "I delight in You Lord! I desire to do Your will...and only Your will."

It is in those moments where you will see His unmistakeable power, love, and grace.

It is right there where He will gently align your heart with His.

My testimony is forever changed by trusting Him and watching Him move mountains for me.

I am forever blessed by His love.

If you wanted to read more about Lex's adoption story, you can read about it here:

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